5 Things I Wish I Knew Before DMing
Running your first campaign presents many challenges, even for an experienced player.
When I started DMing, I was so worried about bookmarking my Dungeon Master’s Guide for obscure rules I was afraid of forgetting that I overlooked a whole set of hurdles I hadn’t expected: mental blocks.
After running A Deep and Creeping Darkness for the podcast, I discovered the fun and difficulty of being a DM. So I’d like to share a few things I wish I had known before my first time as DM to make your first time a little easier.
Feeling stuck, unprepared, or overwhelmed can suck the fun out of DMing faster than anything. And it is guaranteed to happen. I’ve found that the key is finding comfortable ways to react and manage situations as they pop up, rather than trying to account for every scenario under the four suns you decided were canon (and now have to fill out lore for… but more on that later).
It’s All In Your Head & Nothing Can Hurt You Here
“Hi, it’s me, Anxiety. Did you come to D&D to escape me? HA! Foolish mortal, you volunteered to DM!”
You’ll quickly realize your favorite pastime now has responsibilities. A lot of them, in fact. Keep your guidebooks handy but remember you can and should always be winging something.
No one is going to call BS on you if you forget or make up a little piece of lore or the party misses a clue, and you’re going to have plenty of places to fit it in later. Try not to sweat each detail, or you will feel overrun and underprepared.
There are definitely times when details matter because it affects gameplay in a major way, like forgetting a player’s temporary buff. The show must go on, so just call it out and make some tradeoffs with your players.
You could double the effect for one round or extend the duration to compensate. You always have the option to make a call or alter something retroactively.
As you +1 your DMing through practice, you’ll find working out details with your players can actually be a meaningful part of the fun. Don’t feel the need to hide behind the screen if things are tricky or complicated.
Suppose something slips your mind, and it doesn’t affect gameplay immediately, like forgetting to introduce a clue, creating an NPC on the fly before realizing you had them built already, or neglecting someone’s backstory. In that case, I think it’s best to let it go, make a note, and move on.
No one will notice because only you know the whole story. And if your players do notice, it’s a good thing. That means they’re engaged and in your world. Lean on their gameplay for help, don’t feel like you’re not adequately managing the rules.
Shoehorn details into session recaps before your next game if you have to. I bet nobody will even blink. You can even drop “The party failed to find the dastardly clues hidden in the dungeon ….” and put them on the trail of whatever was missed, overlooked (or created after the fact to cover your butt). It’s your world, so there is no need to be afraid of it.
You’re No God (But Close Enough)
My co-host, Billy, might disagree with me on your level of Godliness, but this realization has had the biggest impact on my enjoyment of DMing. Here’s my take on DM as God.
You may create the world, manage its every detail and breathe life into all its inhabitants, but you chose to populate your world with rational, motivated, self-aware beings. That’s your bad, honestly.
It’s a long fall from Mount Olympus when your players make the infamous zig (“Let’s burn down his now vacant mansion”) when they were supposed to zag (“He got away! Quickly, give chase!”).
It’s much easier to take a collaborative approach. I think this also helps you avoid railroading or relying too heavily on one particular NPC, Baddie, or quest to drive your narrative.
It is all too common to plan a King’s elegant soliloquy on the importance of slaying the dragon only to find your party more interested in the blacksmith’s dirty workshop.
If you’re new, at least, this can feel like you’ve done something wrong, aren’t interesting enough, or won’t be able to keep the story going.
Let the people play, be goofy and ignore you and your dumb plot every once in a while. It makes things feel lived in, and unless you're looking for some Truman Show/ Stepford Wives/Pleasantville vibes, you’re going to appreciate the character your characters bring in the end.
Your hooks should meld with their riffs and build off of each other. It is work to make that happen, but the Gods always reward hard work.
Write Layers, Not Lines
You can always write out as much as you’d like, in as much detail as you’re comfortable with, but remember your game needs to ebb and flow. You’ll need to balance descriptors, roleplay, and encounters as well as all your PCs and potential NPCs - it’s a lot.
Rather than writing yourself a narrow line through a situation, or specific lines that need to be recounted or remembered, try layering.
Write yourself short pieces on the topic that get progressively more informative. This way, if your party looks into something more, you’re not left hanging. But, if they move along, you haven’t spent an afternoon composing 20 entries for an NPC’s unopened diary.
I’d suggest making three layers: Open, Closed, and Concealed. It’s a simple funnel. Nothing too fancy, but it breaks down like this:
Open
What is widely known or easily understood about this topic? That could be based on appearance, reputation, or heraldry.
These types of details anyone might know or learn by asking around. Start with a sentence for location and one for looks:
“The temple sits in the center of the city square. The large iron double doors are inscribed with the image of a powerful cleric.”
Then add at least two more sentences about the temple. Resist the urge to transition into who the cleric is or why they are powerful. That’s for the next layer. (And an important NPC will deserve its own 3 layers.)
Closed
What would you come to understand about this if you spent time with it? Such as knowing a tradition, an origin, or personal details about someone.
Here you can write a few sentences on the religion of this temple, its keepers, or details the locals who grew up here might share.
“The temple used to belong to a separate sect but has been repurposed by a powerful cleric. Every year the temple holds a festival that brings crowds from surrounding towns.”
If the party has made it through a few rounds of skill checks, roleplay, and good old snooping around to peel back the first two layers, you can drop hooks to lead them to your final layer.
Whether you draw out the discovery over sessions or make it a die roll is up to you and the impact you hope to make.
Concealed
What would a passerby, acquaintance, or layman never discover? The final layer is the deep truths, a dastardly plan, secret motivation, or the recipe for Grammy’s goblin pie (it wins blue ribbons every year).
Give yourself something fun or surprising to reward a player who digs into your world. It doesn’t have to be groundbreaking or game-changing - it could be a relationship or reference to a player’s backstory.
Perhaps that powerful cleric holds the festival to draw in new converts, and he has some good (or bad) reasons for that. Perhaps he’s not powerful at all but has built a successful reputation.
Maybe this town isn’t that important to your overall plot, so the temple’s secret is old catacombs a villager needs to explore and not the Big Bad Guy’s hideout.
With a sentence or two on each layer, for each major topic, you should be able to suss out how interested the party is and have a little more to feed them if they investigate without wasting a lot of time writing and reciting lore.
DMs Actually Play the Hardest
It’s funny to say after DMing a few sessions, but it never occurred to me before how tiring it could be. You’re managing a lot, making things up, remembering details, adding dice, and answering questions from multiple people.
Set yourself a timer in blocks of an hour or so, and make sure to give everyone a break. Sometimes it’s even useful to give the party a break so you can have 7 minutes to read the rulebook or flip through spell descriptions.
Don’t be afraid to hit pause in a critical moment if you feel the need to get an important detail perfect. This will also help develop a sense of timing and pacing which can lead to some awesome cliffhanger moments your party will remember for sessions to come.
The last thing I wish I had known before DMing is that reviewing and tweaking based on feedback is paramount to everyone’s fun.
Asking is an Art
Don’t skip the opportunity to ask your table how the game is going. Asking for feedback will boost your confidence in two ways.
You’ll feel less criticized because you’re opening and leading the conversation, and you’ll hear what’s exciting, fun, and engaging for each player.
When you finish up your cliffhanger, and everyone’s books slap closed, just take a second to check-in. I like to give little peeks behind the screen to share some drama the party wouldn’t have known to open things up.
“You only beat that Charisma check with the guards by 1, and I was sweating what to do if you pissed them off! What did you guys think about how that encounter went, did it seem as tense as I was hoping?”
By giving some insight into what you wanted to happen and asking how things played out, you can make adjustments as you learn. You’ll also get to talk about the session, which is probably the best part of DMing.
I definitely wish I had known how fun it is to have your friends excited about your story. If I had, I would’ve started DMing ages ago!
If you’re on the fence about DMing, I definitely encourage you to volunteer to host a one-off adventure at your table.
There are plenty of pre-written stories to get your feet wet, and DMing opens up a whole new hobby for you!
